


Memory of a Kiss

by Chainthatbinds (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-19
Updated: 2011-08-19
Packaged: 2017-11-14 22:54:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/520358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Chainthatbinds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sarah gets that call from Sam Winchester. Five years later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memory of a Kiss

Life was good. It wasn't perfect, but it was good. Daniel Blake, Sarah's father, was (reluctantly) admitting that he wasn't going to be able to run the business that much longer as he was getting older. Sarah was pretty sure it had more to deal with their buyers wanting nothing to do with his attitude and favoring talking to his daughter over him. Sarah loved her father dearly, but even she knew that he could be... difficult when he wanted to be.

Sarah'd taken up creating her own art again, too. It was for her own personal collection. She had no plans of ever letting anyone see them. It was more an outlet than anything. And, considering the last time she'd even thought about putting acrylic to canvas had been right before her mom's death, she didn't really feel like putting them out there for the public to see. It felt like something personal, something private. She'd only shown one piece to her father. While he wasn't happy with the subject matter (ghosts and a certain man slaying them), he did say he was glad to see her working at it again.

So yeah, things were good for Sarah. Then _he_ had to come along and screw all of that up.

It started with a phone call. It was a late Friday evening and she was just finishing making dinner in her kitchen when the phone rang. Sarah rolled her eyes, figuring it to be one of her friends, Jason, asking for the fifteenth time for her to head down to Manhattan with him for some fun. Sarah knew he liked her and he was cute, funny and nice... but she just didn't want to be there. Or with him. She wasn't really sure which was the main reason for the decision but it was her decision either way.

Sarah didn't recognize the number and had debated even answering. With her slowly taking over her father's business, she figured it might be one of their existing clients or maybe someone new. She accepted the phone call and leaned against the kitchen counter, resting her free hand on the white tiles. “Good evening, Sarah Blake speaking.”

“Sarah, hi. I need your help.”

The voice sounded vaguely familiar but she couldn't place it. She smiled, hoping it would help her sound cheery to the person on the other end of the call. “I'm sorry, who is this?”

“Right, I guess it's been a while. It's me, Sam. Sam Winchester. Remember, about five years ago, my brother Dean and I-”

“Yeah!” Sarah's voice gave away her surprise. His voice was deeper than she had remembered it being. It made sense, of course. People can change a lot over half of a decade. Sarah definitely had. She cleared her throat and leaned a little harder on the kitchen island. “Yeah, I remember you. How couldn't I? I mean-”

“Great.” His voice sounded impatient as he interrupted her. “Listen, I'm working on a case and I need your help.”

“A case?” Sarah's stomach wrenched at the words. She still remembered those days she'd spent helping Sam and his brother looking for what killed the Telesca family, her friend Evelyn and almost Sarah herself until Sam had protected her. Her mouth started to feel dry. “Another haunted painting thing or just, like, a ghost?”

“Neither.” He sounded a little cold and detached, too. If he hadn't been the one to call her, she'd wonder if he even remembered her. “It's a vampire, actually. The father of all vampires, to be specific. It's just a rumor but I think there might be a portrait out there made of him. It won't really help in catching him but if I can find it, I'll know who I'm looking for, at least.” Sarah's brain was still stuck somewhere on vampire. Vampires being real was kind of a scary thought. If only her Lit teacher who taught the Vampyre class in college only knew the truth. She missed that the silence meant it was her turn to talk. “Sarah? You there?”

 

“Yeah.” She shook her head, clearing it of the million thoughts running around inside. “Yeah, sorry. You want me to find this painting? You have anything for me to go off of other than it having a guy, I mean, vampire in it that I've never seen before?”

“I've got some things for you to cross reference. I faxed it to your office.”

“My fax? At my office?” Sam had her feeling like she was ten steps behind in this whole conversation. “I'm sorry, Sam, how did you get my fax number?”

Sam laughed but it sounded a tad condescending. “I hunt things most people don't know exist for a living, Sarah. Finding your information wasn't that hard.”

Sarah was really starting to wonder if this was the same Sam. Sure, people change but this guy sounded a lot like an asshole. Being an asshole doesn't really make people you want help from want to help you. “I've already gone home for the day and I'm not planning on going back in until Sunday. I hope it can wait until then.”

“You can't go now?” Sam's impatience wasn't even hidden at this point.

“No, actually, I, uh...” Sarah closed her eyes and shook her head before saying it out loud. “I have a date. Tonight. With a guy. We're going down to The City and-”

“Sarah, come on.” He sounded exasperated and, for a second there, she was pretty sure he knew she was lying. “I'm good at a lot of things. One of them is reading people, even over a phone. You don't even want to go on this date. Are you really going to put innocent lives at stake just to go out with someone you'll be stringing along?”

Sarah's mouth hung open. How was he doing that? Why was he talking to her like this? What happened to the smart, sensitive guy she'd met a few years ago? She gripped the rounded edge of the counter as hard as she could and closed her eyes. “I'll do it, fine. But do me a favor, Sam. After I'm done, don't bother calling me again. I don't care if it's the end of the world.” She didn't even give him time to respond before hanging up, grabbing her things and heading for the car.

Three hours later, she'd found what Sam was looking for and faxed the provenance information to him. The only response she got in return was a text:

_Got it. Thanks. Consider the number lost. - S_

Sarah's finger hovered over the delete button for a few seconds before finally doing so and putting the phone away.

~

Sarah wasn't someone who was easily affected by others. After her mother's death, she'd built up a wall, a cozy shell that not only kept her feelings suppressed and in check but also deflect other people and the grief that they would want to bring on her. For a whole year, her father was the only one who she would come out of her shell for. Around that time, Sam Winchester came rushing into her life with his secrets and own shell firmly in tact. There were things about him that reminded her of herself. There was something about him that made her feel like she could trust him and maybe, just maybe, come out of her own barrier.

Then, after giving her the most exciting and terrifying few days of her life to date, Sam left just as quickly as he came. Somewhere in the middle, Sarah had tried to appeal to him, tried to see if there was any chance that they could... she wasn't sure what she wanted from him but she wanted something. Unfortunately, he wasn't willing to let her have much say in the matter of if she was a big enough girl to risk her life to get a chance to know him. She'd put herself out there, saying she was ready to risk leaving her own barriers and not care if danger found her. He'd turned her down without hesitation. She wasn't even sure if he'd even taken the time to think about it. That hurt. But she supposed that's what happens when you let yourself be vulnerable.

After the incident, Sarah sure that they would never meet again. With her job being what it was and his being as dangerous as it was, it just made sense when it came down to the probability of it all. It took her about a year to stop thinking about Sam on a regular basis. Even after that, she still thought of him when she'd let her mind wander for a few minutes. She wasn't sure when she'd finally let him slip completely but, after the phone interaction the two of them had, she considered it a good thing and tried to do it all over again.

It didn't work. Not initially at least. She made progress, though. Every once in a while, she'd get a little angry at him and even angrier with herself for letting him affect her in such a way. Then she doubled her efforts to keep him out of her conscious thoughts.

It was pretty hard to do when Sam came waltzing into her and her father's auction house a few months later. He looked a great deal older and his hair was longer but he was just as tall as she'd remembered. She was tempted to try and hide but that seemed so childish. “You can do this, Sarah, you can do this.” She said quietly to herself, trying to pep herself up. “If he's come to ask for another favor, just tell him to go screw himself.”

“I was coming by to apologize, actually.” Sarah's eyes widen. Could Sam really hear her from that far away? The sheepish look on his face certainly made it seem that way. “Good hearing. Kinda important thing you develop on the job.”

“Right, of course,” she sighed, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice, “the job.”

Sarah let her face fall a little and break eye contact. Sam quickly dipped his head and tried to reestablish it. “Could we, uh, go somewhere private? You're probably gonna think I'm crazy when I try to explain everything. No reason to freak out your buyers, too.” She obliged, though reluctantly. There was something in his eyes and in his voice – definitely not the voice she'd interacted with over the phone – that made her willing to listen to what he had to say.

Forty minutes and about thirty questions later, they're on an antique couch in the back of the building and she'd heard Sam's story. She could, for the most part, wrap her head around it. A lot of it should've been unbelieveable (him saying that he didn't have a soul when they talked on the phone, funny enough, wasn't that hard to believe) but, considering what the source had shown her the last time they were together, she was willing to suspend her disbelief just a little bit. There was something else as well. She knew what it was but didn't want to admit it to herself.

Sarah was feeling those old feelings again. They were the feelings she'd had so long ago when she was around Sam. It was easier for her to smile at him, even if she was just listening to him say something funny about the apocalypse... which really wasn't a funny topic. Sam's goofy smile had even managed to get a laugh out of her. After all that time, she was able to let down her guard around him. He had all those other, really crazy things to worry about but he still took the time to come see her and apologize.

“So...” Sam was starting up another conversation topic. Sarah smiled and tilted her head to the side, waiting patiently. He shook his head and laughed a little before continuing. “So, you see now that I was right, right? I mean, Dean and I have died more times than I'd like to count. There's no way that you wouldn't have gotten hurt getting mixed up with me.”

Sarah nodded her head, contemplating his words. She brought her eyes back up to his and shrugged, “Yeah, I might've gotten hurt. I don't think I would've regretted the choice. Assuming you would've actually taken the time to consider it and let me choose for myself.” Sam opened his mouth to say something but she put her hand up to stop him. “I get it. You see me here, living a regular life and about to own my own business and think 'Oh, she's so well off. She's doing fine.' Well, yeah. But you know how I feel about being well off?” Sam, thinking it was a rhetorical question, didn't respond at first. When he realized she was actually waiting for a response, he gave a small embarrassed shrug. “Yeah, me too. I don't really know and I hardly care, Sam. I haven't cared about too much of anything since my mom died almost seven years ago. The last thing that had a significant effect on me is sitting across from me right now.”

Sam leaned forward and took Sarah's hands into his. “Sarah, I'm sorry for that. I really am. But that's not my fault.”

Sarah shook her head and smiled. “I know that, Sam. I'm not blaming you or even mad at you for it. I just wish things were different.” A small silence came over them. She sighed and looked down. “Who knows, maybe with some more time and meeting new people, I might find someone else. He'll be smart, funny, caring and cute like you and I'll open up again. He'll make me forget about how much I miss those days and date we had together and I'll-”

Sam cuts off her words by leaning forward even more and kissing her. Sarah gasps, not expecting it and puts her hands on his shoulders. He smells a little different and his lips don't feel the way she remembers but Sarah knows this kiss. It's just like the one they'd had right before he left the last time. It's a goodbye kiss. It's a kiss that says, “I really want you to come with me but we both know that can't happen.”

This time, though, she accepts that and doesn't fight it. She was fine with it. More than fine, actually. Seeing Sam was what Sarah needed to learn life goes on and so would she.  


**Author's Note:**

> http://chainthatbinds.livejournal.com/


End file.
